“I used to think I could keep the things that I love, now I only hold on to the things that love me back.”
I feel like this completely describes my mood today. I found this quote on someone’s blog today when I did my daily blog reading. Therefore, if your reading and I did not give you any credit please let me know and I will give you the credit you deserve or please let me know the person who said this, thanks!
I am sick of being this caring person with such a nice streak that I put up with so much garbage it’s unbelievable! I feel as if I am always being walked all over but that streak and that phase is over with. I feel like there is time for a change and no more bullshit.
Moreover, the time is now. Now is the time to think about me for a change and not about trying to please anyone because I feel bad or because I feel its right. If I do not please you, oh fucking well! It is time for me to be happy and for once make myself (J) happy! I know I have responsibilities and priorities as does the rest of you and I know we all get the urge to just say fuck responsibilities and fuck priorities but it’s not so easy for me(this is the hard part). I know that’s the caring streak but I see those(the fuck- it) qualities as wasteless scum’s that just take up space in the world where were already crowded! I am basically saying through all this ranting is that I want to be the happy-go-lucky-carefree-no-taking-anyone’s-shit-J!
On another positive note, it was my brother Christian’s birthday and he turned six. I can tell he is growing up because I could actually have a good, nice long conversation with him where I am not making baby noises or smiling like an idiot! He understands me and I him. Sure, he is fucking bad but that is most boys at his age. What makes him different is that fact that he doesn’t act like boys his age. I cannot describe it. If you sat down with him, you would know exactly what I am talking about. Nevertheless, he has asked for a nickname! So, we tried. Just do not know exactly what to call him! He does not like C, or Chris (he has hated it since he was like three!), and he does not like Nacho Libre. Got any suggestions… we let him choose for now and he decided he wants to be called Blaze from now on. So, here is a snapshot from my phone from yesterday. Apologies on the shitty quality!